Choose You Every Day

You get to choose.

It feels too easy. How could complicated matters have simple solutions? But what if they do have simple answers and we’re just getting in our own way?

One of the sea kayaking guides was casually chatting up the participants. When we were paddling next to each other he asked me what I did for work. I told him that I’m a Yoga Instructor and a Body Acceptance Mentor. He inquired further about the Body Acceptance aspect and listened with full attention as I passionately spoke of bucking at beauty standards, societal expectations, and living life for yourself and not to please anyone else.

“But how?” he asked. “How do you turn off the pressure and get confident?”

That’s the question isn’t it? Silence hung between us for a moment as I wondered what to say that would be honest, clear, concise. “You get to choose what you care about. I think it’s possible to hear all that noise and still decide that it’s not for you. It’s a powerful form of control that I’m not interested in participating in, so I don’t….as much as possible.”

“But how? It’s so hard.”

As much as the answer is simple, choosing to go against the grain everyday isn’t easy. I’m swayed by the messages that I take in sometimes. I too sometimes feel like crap and like I’m not ok the way I am. But, through consistency, like training muscles, I come back to the message I believe: someone out there decided that there was a way to look, and anyone falling short has work to do (products and services to buy). Who the hell gave that person permission to dictate that? Would I even like and respect that person? I’m thinking not. So why am I wasting my energy thinking about it when I’ve got a life to enjoy?

Would I be happier if I counted calories? Ugh, sounds awful. Should I take up jogging again? I really don't think so. Would I be more lovable to my husband, friends, family, students if I were thinner? No.

Now this sounds like I’m “sliding down a slippery slope” towards big weight gain (as if that’s the worst thing ever), but I know to squelch that fear. I remember all the ways that I show up for my body. I walk as soon as I wake up, after lunch and before bed, averaging around 10,000 steps a day. I teach six Yoga classes a week. I play baseball every Sunday. Every meal that I eat has produce as the star and my food intake is primarily made from scratch. I’m still wobbly around my middle. Ah well. Honestly, the effort it would take to not be wobbly isn’t something I’m interested in. And for what? I'm brilliant just as I am.

Want to know my biggest health win? I’m happy and at peace. I don’t participate in the stress of needing to fix myself to be acceptable.

Let’s imagine your body is your home. It does great things for you, and you do what you can to maintain it. But if you spend all your time working on your home, you’ll miss living your life. There’s more to life than cleaning the home. Maintenance is a very good idea, but it’s not everything.